Flying 101

So recently I found myself traveling by plane again and was reminded of an etiquette book I randomly wrote over the last 5 years in my head for frequent flyers (even for those who are novice travelers)

1.  Take a f-in shower before you get on a plane.  Don’t wake up and think “I took one last night at 6pm and my flight isn’t until noon…I’ll be fine”.  In case you forgot, even in first class, the seats are VERY CLOSE TOGETHER.  If everyone actually showered, the planes might not actually smell like a wet, sweaty gym sock all the time.

2.  Try not to be a complete lush just because you can’t abstain from drinking for 2 1/2 hours.   Oh and try not to buy 2 bottles of gin and proceed to tell the gentlemen next to you all the insider trading secrets of your company Ms. Bank of America lady from LA who flies Northwest.

3. If you are a college student flying somewhere for Spring Break….YOU’RE NOT AS COOL AS YOU THINK YOU ARE JUST BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS CAN AFFORD A PLANE TICKET FOR YOU, so quit acting like a jackass.  Enough said.

4.  If you are overweight by more than 40 pounds….stop bitching about how small the airplanes are these days.  Your fat…lose weight and stop complaining that the whole world doesn’t support your emotional eating.

and finally

5.  Follow all the rules.

~Cheers

Cave dweller

Last night I went to a wine tasting in one of the many caves that wind their way under the earth that is Missouri and/or Kansas.  It was a good time had by all…except I forgot how warm the caves are, especially with hundreds of people in them.  Just goes to show you that if there is a world nuclear war, and we all have to live in the caves for the next 30-50 years as a society….I think we should make it a clothes-free zone while we have to suffer.  Nudist colony all the way for the new world!

~Cheers to that day coming if its going to before I hit 40 so I still look hot LOL

The pen is mightier than the sword

So for all of my youth (and I’m not admitting I’m old) I was a good little American, in fact, I was exactly the type of American that George Bush creams his pants over….I was educated by the great American school system since after all…it was looking out for my best interest, paid my taxes since after all…it was civil duty, never questioned authority or my political and religious leader since after all…they knew what they were doing and are representing me, never became politically active since after all….there’s nothing I can do about it anyway and discussing Pop culture was WAY more cool, and I went on about my very selfish life never worrying about anyone but me and my family…since after all, isn’t that what every American does? 

In fact, the only problem with my blissful existence at all was that it was 100% entirely exactly the opposite of what being an American means.

I feel enlightened these days with my viewpoint on America and its vision for the future in 2008.  I feel like I’m Neo in the Matrix and took the red pill. 
These days I’m an avid seeker of what’s really going on behind the closed doors of Washington, I don’t pay federal income taxes since there is no law in any government rulebook anywhere stating its legality, I’m fighting the Neo-conservatives tooth and nail because I can’t sit back and watch my country go to hell, while I blindly watch American Idol to entertain my small sheep-like uneducated mind, and I am a starch Constitutionalist and Independent. 

As such…this article is appalling.  This law could actually reverse a constitutional right written VERY plainly in the constitution for every American.  Now, I’m not a gun owner, I’ve never fired a gun, I detest hunting in all of its forms, and I will never allow a gun in my home.  HOWEVER, I am for American citizens having MORE rights, and for NOT taking away the ones they already have.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7302179.stm

I’m all fired up today….mostly at my American peers for being apathetic and blind.  Since when did any American allow anyone, especially a politician, to dictate to them how they can live their life?  I’m ashamed of my generation.  Yeah you heard me Gen X’ers and Y’ers, put up or shut up and get the hell out.  You’re not the greatest generation just because you were born here and play video games every day of your meaningless selfish life.  How about you wake up and give a damn that in 2 years you won’t have any civil liberties what-so-ever.  How about you go look up what civil liberties are, SINCE YOU WENT TO PUBLIC SCHOOL AND YOU DON”T KNOW! 

~Cheers to actually giving a damn about something other than television

I’ve got Hives

Not a lot of time to write today….just wanted to let you all enjoy what I’m jammin to as of late:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwhU99_66R8

~Cheers to freaks like me

Where do you see yourself working in 5 years Paige?

My only answer:

For a company that cares more about productivity than perception.
For a company that recognizes the importance of over-rewarding good employees and realizes when to cut dead weight.
For a company that realizes that management isn’t a babysitter, and if it is, its time for tough love.
For a company that strives to be the industry leader through innovation instead of trying to play catch up to the competition year after year with no progress. 
For a company that doesn’t just talk about progressiveness and taking risk through change, but one that actually follows through.
For a company that understands you can’t run your business the same way for more than a decade and expect to get ahead with the changing consumer base.
For a company where a job isn’t just a verb but part of the full happy human experience.
For a company nothing like the one I work at currently.

I am officially on the job market.

~Cheers to making your destiny

Super Smashed

So Super Smash Bros slithered into stores yesterday.  Although I know many people actually taking vacation from work to ogle in front of the wii this next week…it might be a while before I get the privilege of playing it.  It’s cool that its finally online.  About damn time.  Every game that comes out these days should be online compatible.   Oh and since I’m making all the decisions today, make me more girl games while you’re at it…freakin XBox makers

~Cheers to  you Dr. Mario

Spring has sprung strange behavior

What is it about this time of year that makes people go crazy?  Pretty much everyone I know is acting weird these days.  I’m hoping for the best and assuming its optimism about the future since Spring is around the corner.  Maybe they are all just going through that awful quarter life crisis thing  you do in your mid to late 20’s.  Either way everyone needs to stop…and that’s the way I see it.

~Cheers to me not being the weird one for once

GG vs. Good Game

OMG I forgot how much I giggle sometimes…especially at stories like this one:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7278927.stm

Gary, Gary, Gary, Gary……you are my MMORPG hero…even if you just made the first RPG and I vowed to never play it LOL.  Gary your last name makes me smile, because just like your game, Gygax is from a universe all of its own.  How even more ironic that you died at the age of 69.  69….the number that neither you nor any of your D&D players have ever experienced to its full extent ~ 

I salute you Mr. Gygax and your game that inspired my game of choice, WoW. 

GG Mr. G.G. (LAWL)

~Cheers

When life gives you lemons on a cooking show….

Sometimes you just can’t catch a break.  This poor guy.  Now, I’m not saying it was ok for him to lie on his resume…but come on, haven’t we all beefed up our qualifications if even slightly to gain an advantage?  Isn’t that the name of the game…go big or go home?  I absolutely love that he attached his name to royalty.  Talk about balls.  Pants off to you Mr.

The thing that bugs me about this whole sudden inquiry into his CV is….what about all the things he’s contributed since he got the job at the cable network??  I mean…you find out your employee lied within the first 6 months..ok yeah, give em the boot.  But how long has he been there?  How many people watch his shows? 

I guess in the end there is at least one cable network that isn’t in it for the profits LOL.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/7274743.stm

~Cheers to you Mr. having a harder day today than me

Happyness…TY Will Smith

For the past few days I’ve been utterly content and happy.  Just wanted to share   Sometimes love and life and hope and peace just seem to fall around you at once.  The stars are aligning, just like my teeth   Friends are good….so is rediscovering

~Cheers to smiling and being in a good mood